Frequently Asked Questions About Why Am I Always Depress

Usually, every time I feel sad, I automatically assume that what I am going through is part of the wrong decisions I make in life. When I do something out of my will, I always believe that it immediately results in emotional pain and agony. I always thought that I should always feel good about it when doing things because if I don’t, I will end up with misery and full of regrets.

But lately, I realized that my sadness is not at all related to my struggling decision-making process. The emotion I always felt for the past few weeks was something strange that I couldn’t even put in words. The sadness I felt came from nowhere. And even if I am believed to be in a good mood, the emotional torture pops up without warning.

So I tried self-diagnosing my mental health, and I began Googling some signs and symptoms of whatever type of sadness this may be. Honestly, I was a bit hesitant because I know some sources from the internet were unreliable. But I kept searching for results to validate this unwanted emotion that I have been struggling with for the past weeks. That is where I got hooked on depression.

I know depression is a mental health problem that a lot of people tend to deal with. I understand the complication it gives, especially in severe cases. However, I was not that prepared to accept that my perception of the little sadness I am experiencing is correlated to a psychological issue. I know I am okay, and I want to believe that I am going to be fine. Will that denial suffices what I am currently emotionally and mentally going through right now?

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What are the major causes of depression?

There are a lot of known factors that cause depression. There are certain medications, genes conflict, age, and social status. However, in more recent data, some of the most common factors that leap causing depressive symptoms are physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, death or a loss of a loved one, traumatic childhood experience, and stressful major events.

What is the top cause of depression?

Honestly, there’s no particular cause of depression because every individual deal with everyday stress differently. Thus, the mental health condition can occur for various reasons as it involves many different triggers. For some individuals, a stressful life event, changes in the environment, bereavement, medical illness, divorce, job or money worries are the common reasons for their depression.

Why do I go from happy to sad so fast?

Sometimes, a sudden shift in emotion can mean something far more than meets the eye. In unfortunate cases, a sudden mood change is associated with bipolar disorder. With bipolar disorder, your emotions usually swing from extremely happy to extremely sad. But note that the mood changes associated with the mental illness usually occur only a few times a year.

What does it imply to be prone to depression?

Sometimes, you get prone to depression because of your personality. Certain personality traits, including neuroticism, pessimism, perfectionism, low self-esteem, and being self-critical, have been associated with a bigger inclination toward the mental health condition. Sometimes, these traits also get associated with series of anxiety and eating disorders.

Who is at higher risk of depression?

Major depression affects adults between the ages of 45 and 65. But in the recent study, those are in their mid-20s and 30s are now defining the curve. And sometimes, even the very young ones seem to be marking a higher risk for severe depression.

What are the risks of depression?

There are tons of reasons that can trigger depression, and some of them are part of everyday lives. There is conflict or disputes with family or friends that often lead to emotional upsets. There is also sexual, physical, or emotional abuse that can cause traumatic feelings. Sometimes, being neglected and judged can also cause severe emotional pain that leads to isolation and depressive episodes.

What happens in your brain during depression?

The amygdala or the part of the brain associated with emotional responses tends to enlarge due to the influx of cortisol triggered by depression. When it gets larger and more active, it causes changes in activity levels, sleep disturbances, hormonal imbalance, and brain inflammation.

Why do I get angry so easily?

Factors that can make you angry vary to some extent. However, some common anger triggers include personal problems. These can be missing a promotion at work, financial strain, or relationship difficulties. Usually, anger comes from a problem caused by another individual, such as canceling plans, bad traffic, non-agreeable opinions, and even personality differences.

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How do I prevent getting angry so easily?

When you are angry, there are a lot of things that you often miscalculate. So before complicating the situation with your negative words and possible bad behavior, you have to think before you speak. Never say something you’ll later regret. Once you’re calm, express your anger and explain why you feel that way. Don’t hold a grudge so you can identify possible solutions. Use humor to release tension and take a time out if you have to.

Does depression change your personality?

Unfortunately, there are instances that depression can affect your personality. However, self-reported personality traits do not change after a typical occurrence of extreme depression. Future investigations are required to conclude whether such change occurs, resulting in more severe, chronic, or recurrent episodes of depression.

How do you get rid of sadness?

There are some positive ways to deal with sadness. You can start by noticing how you feel and understand why you feel that way. That way, you can accept yourself despite not being okay. You can also try bouncing back from disappointments or failures and let things go when they don’t go your way. Don’t give up! Think positive and work on finding better solutions. Always put yourself in a healthy mood, surround yourself with good people and get support.

How do I not let my emotions control me?

Sometimes, your emotions can be too much, and they can become hard to handle. But don’t worry too much because some pointers can help you get started with emotional recovery. First, you need to look at the impact of your emotions and accept that intense emotions aren’t all bad. It would be significantly better if you could aim for regulation, not repression. Identify what you feel so you can know when to express yourself. Keep a food journal if you have to. Give yourself some space. Always take a deep breath.

What should you eat when sad?

Sometimes, when depressed, you tend to eat a lot to ease the emotional and mental burden. You know that food is sometimes a great stress-reliever as it can help make you feel better. Unfortunately, the foods people turn to have the opposite effect. Junk food makes you feel even worse. To avoid that, you need to consider eating foods high in Omega-3s such as fish, nuts, canola oil, flaxseed oil, and dark-green leafy vegetables.

Why can’t I express my emotions?

Expressing emotions is entirely not that easy. It takes a lot of mental, physical, and emotional strength to process what you want to say. But when that particular issue becomes another problem, then you need to get help. Because what you are going through might be a condition called Alexithymia. It is a state where you find it difficult to identify and express emotions. Fortunately, it is not a psychological disorder. However, it can greatly affect life as Alexithymia may cause problems in social situations and maintain relationships.

How can I express my emotions better?

Expressing your emotions take time and effort. You don’t just push yourself to let your feelings go because it can damage your mental health. Thus, it would help if you can find a way to be alone for some time. That way, you can allow yourself to cry, rave, rant, or curse negative things around. Permit yourself to express your feelings, and do not censor yourself.

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Final Thoughts

I have depression. I now understand that my sadness is not a typical emotion that I can shrug off at any time. And believe me, I know it will last for more than weeks or even months from now. But despite that genuinely unfortunate situation, I know I can still count on my will to get better. I may not recover faster than others, but I will not stop until I can guarantee that I am free from this mental health struggle.

 

Frequently Asked Questions About Online Anxiety Help

Having anxiety can be the worse. There are too many things in your mind that you often cannot get rid of. You tend to feel uncomfortable and scared all the time. You don’t know why you always feel worried and frightened because sometimes there is just no reason for it. There are moments that you even deal with stressors differently, and you tend to become less aware of your thoughts and feelings. In some unfortunate cases, you experience panic attacks. You begin to encounter different physical manifestations that are often taking a toll on your daily function.

Fortunately, there are ways you can better manage anxiety. The common one is self-care. As long as you stick to a healthy lifestyle and manage to get through your stressors, you can stay healthy and active. Another thing is medication. You can reduce your anxiety through the help of medication prescribed by your doctor. Yes, there are times that medication alone does not work, but the idea of it reducing your anxiety symptoms is quite impressive. Then there’s therapy. It is the most effective treatment of all since specific methods design to help you with your mental health issue.

And speaking of therapy, it now works well with technology as it can be administered online. Thus, you can get anxiety help with guaranteed convenience. Let us try and understand more about it through these frequently asked questions.

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Why can anxiety be a good thing? 

Even though anxiety can cause so much trouble and may seem useless at times, it serves a purpose. These feelings are a part of the natural way of dealing with stress. It represents a built-in warning system known as the fight-or-flight response meant to alert and protect individuals from danger. Anxiety allows people to react faster, especially in emergencies.

Anxiety can be helpful in some ways. But if ever you happen to experience a different level of emotional imbalance, you should consult your therapist right away.

 What are the benefits of online therapy? 

Online therapy is beneficial because it eliminates the costs associated with travel time only to attend a therapy session. It also decreases absences in meetings due to sickness or other reasonable or unreasonable excuses. Online therapy also allows clients to participate in therapy regularly in a convenient way as possible.

 Is online therapy as effective? 

Yes. Online cognitive behavioral therapy is an acceptable, effective, and practical way of providing health care to individuals. That is according to a 2018 study published in the Journal of Psychological Disorders. The study initiate that online cognitive behavioral therapy or online CBT was as efficient as a face-to-face treatment for mental health conditions such as major depression, panic disorder, social anxiety disorders, and more.

 How do I overcome social media anxiety? 

Overcoming social media anxiety is entirely easy, especially if there is no addiction involved in it. You have to limit your exposure to social media intake in a structured way can be helpful. If it not entirely necessary to spend time on social media, then give it a break. Instead, make time for yourself and focus on the things that make you laugh or smile. Spend bonding moment with family. Go for walks outdoors on your breaks when possible. Any healthy distractions that will keep you busy will keep you away from social media anxiety.

 What’s a good job for someone with anxiety? 

Some of the best jobs for people with a social anxiety disorder include Accountant, Entrepreneur, Firefighter, Landscaper, Artist, Writer, House Painter, Computer Programmer, Pet Care Professional, Graphic Designer, Librarian, and Grounds Maintenance Worker.

Note that these are just recommendations. Depending on the severity of the person’s anxiety, these jobs may or may not work for him in some instances.

 Is a little anxiety good? 

A reasonable healthy amount of anxiety tends to provide a positive outcome since it provides survival value. Anxiety is considered good stress that keeps people motivated and excited about life. But be mindful, though, because too much excessive worry can immediately cause emotional and mental health conditions.

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 Is online counseling Safe? 

Though there are tons of benefits online counseling can give, people need to be cautious with the process. An online stipulation may not be suitable for inexperienced practitioners. And unless the online therapy is encrypted, people can benefit from the doubt of the possible danger of leaked private information.

But again, one should trust the process of communication. If online counseling can cut barriers at some point, then online counseling can still be a great option for those individuals who feel less open about their mental health condition.

 What are the disadvantages of online counseling? 

Disadvantages of online counseling include lack of visual and verbal cues and lack of physical presence. That is because of the less personal communication going on with each session between client and therapist. Another disadvantage is computer concerns that include equipment and internet service failures, and typing speed can limit the conveyance of information in chat-based sessions. Also, there can be an issue with privacy and confidentiality in a shared environment, and people may find it challenging to put complicated thoughts and emotions into written words.

 Is self-help worth it? 

The main purpose of self-help is not to immediately remove signs and symptoms of mental health conditions but rather to satisfy the mind and body in finding and healing negative emotions. The definitive goal of self-help is to encourage you to build a better life without too many worries and fears.

Self-help can work if you put enough effort into trying your best to become physically, emotionally, and mentally better.

 What is the best online therapy site? 

Here are a few of the recommended online therapy sites you can consider. Betterhelp, Talkspace, Regain, Teen Counseling, Pride Counseling, Amwell, 7 Cups of Tea, and Doctor on Demand.

If you find these websites unhelpful, you can always venture out on others that offer the same online treatment process.

How do you get therapy if you can’t afford it? 

If you think you can’t afford therapy, you can first check with your insurance. You can also try a community mental health center or a training clinic and ask about discounted rates if there are any. In case you do not necessarily need therapy, you can start reading self-help books or attend support groups. Always make sure to Re-evaluate your expenses.

 Which is better, Talkspace or BetterHelp? 

Talkspace is one of the best choices for individuals who want more privacy and do not want to live in video sessions. It’s more economical and less hassle. BetterHelp, on the other hand, is an ideal option for those interested in talking to someone on live video conversations. Usually, this is administered by a health expert and licensed professionals. The flexibility, convenience, and anonymity of Betterhelp make it an appealing option.

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 Is social media bad for anxiety? 

Unfortunately, there is a strong association between heavy social media usage and an increased risk for mental health problems. Some of these are anxiety, depression, loneliness, self-harm, and having suicidal thoughts. In some ways, social media promote negative experiences to an individual already suffering mental and emotional health.

Thus, it is necessary to understand social media’s role in your life before concluding its effectiveness or damage to your overall wellbeing. Always remember that everything that is too much can be dangerous.

 Does deleting social media help with anxiety? 

Yes. There is no excellent way to cope with anxiety other than just deleting the entire apps that trigger them. Just not using Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook for a month can bring you a happier feeling. It makes you feel more present in life.

 Is Social Anxiety a mental illness?

Social anxiety disorder is considered a mental health condition that is most known as social phobia. It is an extreme fear of being watched by others. This fear can affect school, work, and other day-to-day activities. It can also impact relationships in difficult situations as it cannot sometimes keep up with social relationship demands.

 

Mental Health On TV: What To Learn From iZombie’s Liv Moore

Have you ever heard of TV gold? It’s a kind of show that you tend to fight tooth and nail for, especially when someone says that “it’s not that good.”

Well, in my case, that would be the iZombie. I had always been into musical, comedy, and family shows before it aired, and you wouldn’t have typically seen me watching anything paranormal. However, I got hooked on the zombie-filled show as soon as I saw Olivia “Liv” Moore try to deal with the zombie virus that she contracted through a scratch at a boat party.

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If you must know, Liv is the heroin in iZombie. She had a beautiful love life and a promising career before the virus transmission happened, but it all went away when she realized she’s technically undead. Liv hid her new form from her loved ones to the extent that her mother and best friend were already at their wit’s end.

Liv only felt somewhat alive again when she started eating the brain of every dead person that came at the police morgue and helped solve their cases.

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What Did It All Mean?

Many people in the real world had a comparable situation with Liv Moore. Instead of zombieism, their conditions came in the form of HIV, AIDS, leprosy, etc. But like Liv, they usually tried to hide their illness to everyone in fear of scaring others or getting stigmatized over something that they did not have control over.

Although Liv Moore’s life story was nothing but a make-believe one, it could still be inspiring for many folks suffering from frowned-upon conditions. She might have been depressed initially, but she found a way to make something out of her seemingly terrible fate. When the show ended, Liv became practically a legend who helped prolong terminally ill individuals’ lives.

What Can You Learn From Liv Moore?

A Dead End Might Not Always Be A Dead End

Putting yourself in the shoes of Liv Moore when she found out that she turned into a zombie would let you understand why she thought it was already a dead end. After all, the woman woke up inside a body bag and realized that she barely had a pulse. She also had to isolate herself from family and friends, assuming they might disown her after discovering the truth.

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As mentioned above, though, Liv managed to work around her dilemma and created another path for herself as a crime solver. Yes, she had to eat the deceased victim’s brain first, and that’s gag-worthy for most non-zombies, but Liv had to do what she had to do. That’s the only way for her to glimpse into the dead person’s life before the crime.
Now, there’s no need for you to deal with deaths and murders to think like Liv Moore. Suppose your current dream is donezo, dream of something else. It’s not what you have imagined yourself doing for years, but you can learn to love and enjoy it.

It’s Okay To Reinvent Yourself Sometimes

Whenever Liv Moore ate a new dead individual’s brain, their personality and way of thinking typically mixed with hers. It was very confusing to the humans who ended up realizing her identity, but the self-reinvention somewhat worked in her favor. That’s especially true when she had to kill one of her ex-boyfriends who had gone full zombie mode and tried to eat her human friend’s brain. After that, she kept on eating a veteran’s brain to avoid breaking down or feeling anything.

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While I would never recommend staying in denial forever, it’s okay to reinvent yourself sometimes. Take on a new identity and live as someone else for a day or two, for instance. Keep at it until you feel like facing your worries.

Love And Support Do Not Always Come From Blood Relations

Once you watch all five seasons of iZombie, you would see that many folks cared for Liv Moore. On top of the list was Major, the love of her life. Then, there were Peyton, Ravi, and Clive. She also ended up having orphaned kids, who loved her dearly.

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As for her mother and brother, they did not want to do anything with Liv. They merely talked to her in the end to ask for help in getting out of the city. Then, there was a brief appearance of her absentee father, who turned out to be why people became zombies in the beginning.

Thus, it should be evident that your relatives were not the only ones that you could call “family.”

Final Thoughts

What would you have done if you had been dealt with the same hand as Liv Moore?

Not everyone was as kind or as level-headed as this character. It was easy to embrace zombieism and crack any human skull open, but Liv proved that zombies could be decent. More importantly, even individuals with irreversible conditions could find a happy ending, so there’s no reason for you to mope around all day long.

 

Humor And Laughter In The Family: Strengthening The Bond

 

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Is laughter a vital part of your life? Do you think it can be a source of strength, connectedness, and togetherness for your family? Yes, I do!

 

I’ve always believed in humor and laughter as part of strengthening my family’s bond. For me, they are vital factors of a healthy, happy, and healthy family life. In fact, I regard these two as one of the five elements that build a genuinely thriving family – quality time, humor, prayer, family dinners, and conversations. Among the five, humor is the most convenient way to help families thrive. Why?

 

Simple. Laughter and humor create an environment of happiness and joy in the home. It improves family relationships, establishes connections, and creates wonderful memories. It cultivates love and closeness by encouraging all family members to have fun with each other’s company. Because the greatest humor is strongly based on truth and courses out of a profound reflection of life as it is, laughter also evokes transparency and goodness. It gets rid of the insincerity and breaks down the barriers. It helps develop openness, alleviates tensions, and provides a source of healing and forgiveness for each family member or, in any case, from person to person.

 

Consequently, a few hours of laughter in a day make the home a happy space to live in. If you have not tried it, I can tell you that there are many wonders that laughter has given my family and me. As one writer says, one can’t love somebody if we can’t laugh with them, and there is truly a whole lot of truth in that.

 

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Laughter improves physical health.

 

Studies have confirmed that those who possess a good sense of humor and make time to laugh have a lesser likelihood of having long-term mental and medical illnesses. They further stated that all the systems of the body benefit from having a hearty laugh. For instance, the respiratory and cardiovascular systems get such a great workout from 20 seconds of vigorous laughter compared to 3 minutes of rowing exercise! Additionally, laughing reduces overall muscle tension. Happy hormones are discharged into the bloodstream, producing the same emotions that experienced joggers refer to as a ‘runner’s high.’ Even the Bible testifies to this when it says that a happy heart is like good medicine.

 

Families who live to laugh and make happy moments are also not susceptible to suffer from anxiety and burnout. They have a greater chance of enjoying their lives. They also have a better mindset and embrace the fact that life has its ups and downs and consider it as a magnificent adventure that they will seize together. This is why humor helps us manage not only our failures but also our everyday struggles and even our losses. It’s been said that to possess a sense of humor and to know how to laugh is to understand and embrace the existence of human suffering.

 

If you want to turn your home into a place where walls echo with laughter and where your family can appreciate the fact that you are together, take heed of these simple pieces of advice.

 

  • Find humor wherever you are. You may need to exert extra effort, but it’s all worth it. You’ll soon realize that life, in general, is filled with humor and a lot of things that are worth laughing about. It’s true what Art Linkletter says – we as a people are truly funny. So be on the lookout for the funny element in everyone and in every place you go. If it’s not there, make one for yourself.

 

  • Don’t take things very seriously. It’s usually difficult to see the insignificance of our existence when you look at the bigger picture, right? We most often think that the trials we go through are larger than life, and we must face them seriously so we can solve them. In the process, we have allowed our petty arguments and issues to overshadow our whole lives. Let’s not continue that. Try to relax and take one step backward before confronting a trial so you can see the bigger picture. What you’re facing is only one in a million. Don’t fret over it all; it will consume you.

 

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  • Commit to laugh even if you don’t want to. It’s exactly when you’ve had a really bad day that a good belly laugh is mostly needed. During these times, a little bit of humor lightens the burden and reduces the tension. And it will certainly keep the family together.

 

  • Find out what tickles your partner or your kids. When you notice that your children are bursting with laughter, be attentive, and find out what caused it. Study each of their personalities so that you can differentiate cynicism from clowning. Observe them regularly and concentrate on their humor styles. Learn to identify each of your children’s roles in the family, including your partner’s. Knowing these things will guide you in maintaining the equilibrium between sensitivity and humor.

 

 

What Makes Us Feel Lonely During This Pandemic Situation?

Perhaps you already know that loneliness is one of the universal emotions anyone one of us has. In a time like this that we need to face an invisible enemy, we can’t help but think about all the list of things we want answers. Unfortunately, with all the ongoing battle of facing reality and attaching it to the instant adjustment we need to deal with, we become mentally and emotionally vulnerable. Sometimes, even if we think we can manage, the situation tells us we can’t.

Loneliness is not something we desire. However, we know we need it at some point. It gives us an opportunity to reflect on ourselves and think about what we can do in this situation. It is a feeling that makes us realize our capabilities, worth, and overall balance. So in this time of crisis, what are the things that can make us lonely? Here are some of the few you might want to check out.

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Not Knowing How To Connect With people

In this global health crisis, some of us are thanking the situation for demanding a social distancing protocol. That is because some of us do not know how to connect with people, and this is the exact moment that excuses us from connecting with others. However, loneliness becomes attached to the idea because we all crave closeness and relationships, especially at this time of the pandemic. And without anyone by our side, we feel alone and lonely. From there, we choose to be more isolated and distant.

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Scared Of Temporary Intimacy

One of the reasons why right now is not the right moment to engage in a new relationship is because of the fear of temporary intimacy. A lot of us are afraid that when we invest feelings for someone, it won’t last. That even if we feel something for that person, it’s not going to support a lasting commitment due to the thought that one day when all these are over, things will go back to the way they were. With that, part of our loneliness is the challenge of letting people into our lives. There is an emotional fear of vulnerability that we don’t want others to see.

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There Are A Lot Of Change

We are in a situation that we know adjustment is a must. We understand that the only way to survive this pandemic is for us to follow safety protocols. That is, even if it means sacrificing the things that we are used to doing. But with all the challenges and emotional burden of complying and doing what you are not supposed to, it gives this sense of loneliness. There is this part of us that tells us we can’t do anything but to adapt to the idea of a new normal. There is the pressure of uncertainty, and that is something we know we don’t like. From there, we get confused, heartbroken, and lost.

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Losing Touch Of One’s Self

One thing that we can all hate about this global health crisis is the idea of losing ourselves. There is an emotional turmoil that buildup at the back of our minds because we can no longer do what we want to. Somehow we feel that this situation is changing us only to damage us in the long run. With that, we become unaware of ourselves because we have to consider restrictions. That even if other people suggest that we should widen our horizons and learn new things, we can’t because we don’t want to. Over time, we forget what we truly want, and that brings us to a deep sense of loneliness.

The Advantages Of The Pandemic Lockdown

People randomly complain about the adverse effects of Coronavirus. I guess I can’t blame them for that. It causes a lot of struggle, and until now, it continues to make more lives miserable. People face lots of physical, emotional, and mental heartaches, and there is no exemption. Aside from that, no one knows when all of this would end. But with all due respect to those people who hate the situation, there are still good things attached to this phenomenon.

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Family Bonding

Due to the outbreak, all countries are on lockdown. The purpose of that is to prevent the virus from spreading. So since all people are stuck in their homes, they get to spend more time with their families. It offers them the opportunity to bond and create memories together despite the challenges they experience. The lockdown allows people to appreciate and value the most valuable persons in their lives. Though, I understand that not all individuals seem to look at this as an opportunity. However, the idea of spending time and keeping the family safe and intact is what truly matters at this moment of crisis.

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Healing Earth

Honestly, for sure, some people love the idea of this pandemic lockdown. Not because they benefit from it or anything. But because these people know how important this specific rule is for the benefit of the Earth. Yes, in a short period, the world gets to heal itself. It breathes again, and the clean oceans and clear blue skies are the pieces of evidence. The Earth is somehow free from all the damages that people put it through all these centuries. I guess we can all agree that the reason why the planet is dying is that humans take so much from it. And that even if all humans vanish from the Earth, it should still manage to get by and reborn itself.

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Reflection

One thing great about this lockdown is the opportunity for everyone to reflect on their actions. The lockdown is only part of the safety measures that come from the outbreak. It is merely a consideration that all governments had to take to secure the lives of millions of people. But in a more profound sense, it reminds everyone of the people’s incapability to recognize bad and good decisions. Because if no one tried to ruin the balance of the ecosystem, the world would not suffer from this pandemic. If only other people respect and understand boundaries among other creatures, perhaps people will not be counting infected and dead loved ones.

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Realization

Another aspect we should be thankful for this lockdown is the realization it gives to everybody. This particular moment allows people to see that uncertainty is always one step ahead. Therefore, the importance of preparation is an asset. Yes, no one expected this to happen. But the possibility of this virus infection becoming a pandemic is already visible from the start. Therefore, the mentality of people not doing something because the problem doesn’t require significant importance is not helpful. Perhaps people are used to ignoring small situations and would start to blame everyone when that particular problem gets worse.

See, this lockdown may cause everyone a mental and emotional breakdown, but there is always the good side of everything. Maybe if people focus more on looking at more important things, they might be able to manage their overall wellbeing. So instead of complaining more and more about this pandemic, we might as well we do our best to make life worth living. Yes, there are limitations to that. But we are humans, and we are creative enough to find ways.

How To Get Over A Breakup

 

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Dr. Gary Brown, PHD, LMFT says “Think about the motion of crossing monkey bars. You’re swinging from bar to bar, still holding on to the last one, while reaching for the next.”

 

You probably have that experience in a relationship when you try so hard to fix the different things between you and your partner and yet you still end up calling it quits. Even if you exert an effort, it will be useless because it will always end up in pain and heartaches. A breakup can cause a lot of complications in both the mental and emotional aspect. So how can you be able to get over it? Here are some uncomplicated trivia that you might want to consider.

 

Stop Communication – Communication is a vital factor that sustains a relationship so deleting your ex’s contact information from your phone and avoiding access to his social media profiles is a good start of moving on. Be brave enough to unfriend, unfollow, and block him from every accessible Internet platform that connects the two of you. Determine a goal of achieving happiness and stay away from containing yourself with so much desire of having constant reminders of your ex.

 

Spend Time With Your Friends – A bad breakup is way too exhausting, but you shouldn’t consider it a reason to stop mingling with your friends. It may sound too good to be true, but your friends actually know what to do when you’re feeling low. Therefore, spending time with them can help you internalize and appreciate things that happened before and after the breakup. You shouldn’t waste time thinking about your sad situation and start hanging out with your friends so you can enjoy life all over again.

 

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Look Back On Yourself – Think about the things that you did before you became dysfunctional after the breakup. You’ll eventually realize that your past relationship has nothing to do with your capabilities at all. In fact, you’ll be able to survive heartaches when you know that you’re the type of person that knows what you want in life. Focus on your hobbies, food, music, sports, and travel adventures. From there, start to remember who you were and get back to that positive and lively person you once were.

 

According to Chandrama Anderson, LMFT, “There’s nothing wrong with moving on if that’s truly what you want to do, but don’t jump to the conclusion that there’s no more hope for your relationship before you try to fix it.”

 

Try To Reflect – It’s okay to think about your ex once in a while, as long as it will not mean anything complicated like an emotional desire to get back with your ex. Instead, let it be merely a reflection that you may use as a guide or situational observation. Your realizations from the past experiences will help you in future decision making as well as guide you in handling a better and more mature future romantic relationships.

 

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Look For A Meaningful Relationship – Meeting another person is not a bad thing. It will only make you aim for a meaningful commitment in the future because you already know what your limits and preferences are when it comes to a romantic relationship. Your heartaches should not be a reason to shut down other people because you might never know what could happen. However, you must allow yourself to heal completely first before trying to enter into a new relationship.

Though the stages of a breakup are somehow different from one person to another, these detailed tips can surely help you in attaining a brighter side of moving on. Don’t let a breakup take control of you and consume you. Always remember that there’s always that one person that is destined for you.

John Kim, LMFT said “Stay in the present and future. Remember, you’ve already put a lot of thought into this and decided to move on.”

Expectation Vs. Reality: Relationship Movies

 

It is incredible to watch some films about romance, especially when you can somehow relate to some of its plots. However, we know that not all scenarios can give us that “oh my gosh” feel. Here are the realities vs. expectations in movies that we often find quite ironic.

 

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The Love At First Bump – We often see romantic films that somehow start with unexpected situations where a man and a woman bumped into each other and suddenly fell in love. Though there might be an instance that they instantly get infatuated with each other, there can never be a secure emotional connection between both of them in an instant. In reality, either the woman will feel awkward while the guy apologizes or vice versa.

 

Saying “I Love You” While Shouting Out Loud – Though a man becomes too expressive, he can never dare to say “I love you” in front of tons of people by shouting it out loud in front of many people. He’ll definitely be an embarrassment even if he’ll probably consider doing it. If he does, it may be because it’s necessary or his woman asks for it.

 

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Staying As Friends After A Toxic Relationship – There’s no way that you and your abusive ex can become friends after a toxic relationship. You wouldn’t want to have any connection with your past when you’re trying to improve your passionate commitment to another person. You don’t let your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend interfere with your present life as you wouldn’t be able to manage the unexpected situations if you let yourself get caught on guard. Once a relationship is destroying your mental and emotional aspects, you will never want that person in your life anymore.

 

Kissing In The Rain – Though it’s pretty romantic, no couple would want to cuddle and kiss in the rain. They’ll probably get inside a house or find shelter first. You don’t feel that emotional need of physical connection when it’s literally cold. Besides, there’s a chance that both of you can get sick. You won’t run in the middle of the rain with your partner only to be able to smooch, right?

 

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Stargazing Without Even Talking To Each Other – Seriously, you’ll definitely find stargazing boring. You might want to spend time with your partner in some ways that both of you can enjoy. You can watch movies, go to the mall, eat at your favorite restaurant, or hang out with friends. There’s no way you’ll waste time stargazing while not having a conversation at all.

 

Long Distance Is Amazing – You’ll unquestionably disagree that LDR is something that can make both of you appreciate each other. In fact, LDR can cause serious complications in your relationship when one or both of you fail to be strong in the commitment. Some of the long-distance relationships are working perfectly okay, though, so you can always give it a benefit of the doubt.

You may see these scenarios as something that is relatable to your personal experience, but they don’t give an assurance that some of the scenes in the movie might even happen to you at all. Besides, you can never really tell how love can precisely hit you.

Changes In The Relationship: 3 Months Vs. 3 Years

Let me start this article by citing a line mentioned by a therapist. According to Heidi McBain, MA, LMFT, LPC, RPT, “A superficial relationship is one that is only on the surface, often just based on looks and if the partners are having fun together.”

 

You probably noticed a lot of changes in your relationship these couple of months or years. Don’t panic because it’s pretty normal. There are some things that both you and your partner will eventually lose interest in doing, but that doesn’t mean that your relationship is falling apart. It simply means you’re getting used to each other that you don’t actually worry about small details anymore. Here are our top humorous picks of those changes in the relationship.

 

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Month Anniversaries

  • 3 Months – You feel the need to celebrate every month that passes by because you think that you’re slowly getting the goal of staying together. You often thought about making it extra special since you’re in the middle of getting to know each other.
  • 3 Years – Well, those simple celebrations will somehow won’t matter. In 3 years of commitment, you probably have a lot of priorities to handle. Besides, you would instead consider spending on a one-time occasion compared to the monthly so-called relationship duties.

 

Sally Connolly, LCSW, LMFT said “Even one person who changes from talking and noting the negative to the positive can change the flavor of the relationship.”

 

Sharing Things

  • 3 Months – In the early stage of the relationship, you have your set of ownership in things. You think that what’s yours should belong to you and what’s his should belong only to himself. It is normal in a relationship because you still have that sense of “positive selfishness” in you.
  • 3 Years – At this point in time, there’s probably nothing that belongs to you alone and most of the things that you have, you probably have shared it with your partner already. The truth is, even your toothbrush has no excuse.

 

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Awkward Things

  • 3 Months – When it comes to those things that you didn’t expect to happen, but happened anyway, you’ll pretty much feel embarrassed that you might pray to the gods for the earth to slowly swallow you whole. There’s no way your partner is allowed to hear you fart. Or in worst cases, he’s forbidden to smell it.
  • 3 Years – The art of sharing that embarrassing moment is present in the relationship. You can burp, sneeze, and fart anytime you want. It won’t matter whether you’ll have that silly face in front of your significant other. Your partner will get used to it anyways. Besides, there’s no greater feeling than releasing those physical torments.

 

Ashley Thorn, LMFT said “Share how you’re feeling. Before assuming the worst, give your partner the opportunity to clarify any miscommunication or to explain their thoughts and feelings”

 

Cuddling

  • 3 Months – Yep, cuddling is a necessity especially at the start of the relationship. You want that moment to focus only on the two of you. You probably left those dishes in the sink only to be able to spend a lot of time hugging and kissing on the couch.
  • 3 years – Priorities matter and cuddling are occasional. There is more stuff to do than waste time sitting on the couch and stare at each other.

 

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Menstrual Periods

  • 3 Months – You might want to show your partner that having a menstrual period is something cute and natural. You try to avoid complaints as much as possible because you thought that it would kind of ruin the day for both you.
  • 3 Years – Everything about your period is toxic. The more your partner tends to act normal, the more significant chance of you getting upset. It will become all about you on those particular days of the month.

Being in a relationship is sometimes joyful and exhausting at the same time. But hey, when you are in love with your partner, you’ll do anything for them. Sides, those changes in the relationship can both make you understand each other and eventually lead you to a more extreme level of commitment.

 

The Relationship Lessons We Learn From Movies

 

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Watching a movie is enjoyable, especially when you can somehow relate to some of its stories. It will make you appreciate how moviemakers present an individual’s life with the use of acting and visual representation. Most of the movies give you an idea of the types of lessons you may learn from having a relationship.

 

A Woman Falls For An Emotionally Unstable Guy – This type of scenario existed in movies even decades ago such as “Pretty Pink (1986),” “Two Weeks Notice (2002),” and “He’s Not Just Into You (2009)”. It represents a man who is somehow unsure about his stand in a commitment and a woman who chose to take the risk. It creates an imbalance because most of the stories depict a man as incapable of handling a relationship and a woman somehow becomes stupid in giving their all to the unworthy guy.

 

Someone Takes It To The Extremes – When everything else in the relationship seems to be so wrong, there’s always a person that will take it to the extreme. From the movie “Jerry Maguire (1996),” “Wedding Crashers (2005),” and “The Family Man (2000),” the goal of the ultimate gesture is to take the person back into their lives no matter what it takes. It somehow represents a relationship that values effort and consistency.

 

The More You Hate, The More You Love Type Of Story – This scenario is frequent in movies such as “She’s All That (1999),” “The Ugly Truth (2009),” and “The Proposal (2009).” These types of movies represent a love story of two people who started to hate each other and ended up loving one another at the end. It somehow supports real stories due to the factors that affect the law of attraction. Both men and women’s conflicted nature gives them an ideal reason to get along.

 

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Cheating Is A Norm – Though a movie happens to show a real-life relationship encounter, cheating has become one of its primary standards. From the film “The Unfaithful Wife (1969),” “Closer (2004),” and “The Other Woman (2014),” these movies somehow teach a lesson that cheating can become one of the major problems of a relationship.

 

Relationships Can Start With A Lie – There’s more than meets the eye when we talk about the relationship and one of the fundamental starts can happen with a lie. Like in most movies, there’s always someone that pretends to be someone they are not in order to get a romantic success. In the end, both will eventually go through the process of reconciliation and move forward on the real journey of passionate commitment. Some examples of the movies are “Never Been Kissed (1999),” “Failure To Launch (2006),” and “You’ve Got Mail (1998).”

 

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A person’s impact on social interaction and relationship, in general, has something to do with the experience you can get from dealing with them. You may see it as something less worthy of your time, but eventually, it will lead you to a relationship that you least expect. The movies may sometimes become out of context, but you’ll positively learn lessons from them.

 

Here is a list of the things that therapists say about relationships:

  • “Dating someone new will make you way more excited about the newness rather than working through your problems (of course).” – Lisa Bahar, LMFT, LPCC
  • “Assumptions sabotage a relationship.” – Ashley Thorn, LMFT
  • “Anxiety in relationships is common. Especially if you are prone to worrying or are with a partner who doesn’t communicate clearly, anxiety will be a part of your relationship, and that doesn’t necessarily make it a bad thing.” –  Alicia H. Clark, PsyD