How To Get Over A Breakup

 

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Dr. Gary Brown, PHD, LMFT says “Think about the motion of crossing monkey bars. You’re swinging from bar to bar, still holding on to the last one, while reaching for the next.”

 

You probably have that experience in a relationship when you try so hard to fix the different things between you and your partner and yet you still end up calling it quits. Even if you exert an effort, it will be useless because it will always end up in pain and heartaches. A breakup can cause a lot of complications in both the mental and emotional aspect. So how can you be able to get over it? Here are some uncomplicated trivia that you might want to consider.

 

Stop Communication – Communication is a vital factor that sustains a relationship so deleting your ex’s contact information from your phone and avoiding access to his social media profiles is a good start of moving on. Be brave enough to unfriend, unfollow, and block him from every accessible Internet platform that connects the two of you. Determine a goal of achieving happiness and stay away from containing yourself with so much desire of having constant reminders of your ex.

 

Spend Time With Your Friends – A bad breakup is way too exhausting, but you shouldn’t consider it a reason to stop mingling with your friends. It may sound too good to be true, but your friends actually know what to do when you’re feeling low. Therefore, spending time with them can help you internalize and appreciate things that happened before and after the breakup. You shouldn’t waste time thinking about your sad situation and start hanging out with your friends so you can enjoy life all over again.

 

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Look Back On Yourself – Think about the things that you did before you became dysfunctional after the breakup. You’ll eventually realize that your past relationship has nothing to do with your capabilities at all. In fact, you’ll be able to survive heartaches when you know that you’re the type of person that knows what you want in life. Focus on your hobbies, food, music, sports, and travel adventures. From there, start to remember who you were and get back to that positive and lively person you once were.

 

According to Chandrama Anderson, LMFT, “There’s nothing wrong with moving on if that’s truly what you want to do, but don’t jump to the conclusion that there’s no more hope for your relationship before you try to fix it.”

 

Try To Reflect – It’s okay to think about your ex once in a while, as long as it will not mean anything complicated like an emotional desire to get back with your ex. Instead, let it be merely a reflection that you may use as a guide or situational observation. Your realizations from the past experiences will help you in future decision making as well as guide you in handling a better and more mature future romantic relationships.

 

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Look For A Meaningful Relationship – Meeting another person is not a bad thing. It will only make you aim for a meaningful commitment in the future because you already know what your limits and preferences are when it comes to a romantic relationship. Your heartaches should not be a reason to shut down other people because you might never know what could happen. However, you must allow yourself to heal completely first before trying to enter into a new relationship.

Though the stages of a breakup are somehow different from one person to another, these detailed tips can surely help you in attaining a brighter side of moving on. Don’t let a breakup take control of you and consume you. Always remember that there’s always that one person that is destined for you.

John Kim, LMFT said “Stay in the present and future. Remember, you’ve already put a lot of thought into this and decided to move on.”

Expectation Vs. Reality: Relationship Movies

 

It is incredible to watch some films about romance, especially when you can somehow relate to some of its plots. However, we know that not all scenarios can give us that “oh my gosh” feel. Here are the realities vs. expectations in movies that we often find quite ironic.

 

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The Love At First Bump – We often see romantic films that somehow start with unexpected situations where a man and a woman bumped into each other and suddenly fell in love. Though there might be an instance that they instantly get infatuated with each other, there can never be a secure emotional connection between both of them in an instant. In reality, either the woman will feel awkward while the guy apologizes or vice versa.

 

Saying “I Love You” While Shouting Out Loud – Though a man becomes too expressive, he can never dare to say “I love you” in front of tons of people by shouting it out loud in front of many people. He’ll definitely be an embarrassment even if he’ll probably consider doing it. If he does, it may be because it’s necessary or his woman asks for it.

 

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Staying As Friends After A Toxic Relationship – There’s no way that you and your abusive ex can become friends after a toxic relationship. You wouldn’t want to have any connection with your past when you’re trying to improve your passionate commitment to another person. You don’t let your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend interfere with your present life as you wouldn’t be able to manage the unexpected situations if you let yourself get caught on guard. Once a relationship is destroying your mental and emotional aspects, you will never want that person in your life anymore.

 

Kissing In The Rain – Though it’s pretty romantic, no couple would want to cuddle and kiss in the rain. They’ll probably get inside a house or find shelter first. You don’t feel that emotional need of physical connection when it’s literally cold. Besides, there’s a chance that both of you can get sick. You won’t run in the middle of the rain with your partner only to be able to smooch, right?

 

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Stargazing Without Even Talking To Each Other – Seriously, you’ll definitely find stargazing boring. You might want to spend time with your partner in some ways that both of you can enjoy. You can watch movies, go to the mall, eat at your favorite restaurant, or hang out with friends. There’s no way you’ll waste time stargazing while not having a conversation at all.

 

Long Distance Is Amazing – You’ll unquestionably disagree that LDR is something that can make both of you appreciate each other. In fact, LDR can cause serious complications in your relationship when one or both of you fail to be strong in the commitment. Some of the long-distance relationships are working perfectly okay, though, so you can always give it a benefit of the doubt.

You may see these scenarios as something that is relatable to your personal experience, but they don’t give an assurance that some of the scenes in the movie might even happen to you at all. Besides, you can never really tell how love can precisely hit you.

Changes In The Relationship: 3 Months Vs. 3 Years

Let me start this article by citing a line mentioned by a therapist. According to Heidi McBain, MA, LMFT, LPC, RPT, “A superficial relationship is one that is only on the surface, often just based on looks and if the partners are having fun together.”

 

You probably noticed a lot of changes in your relationship these couple of months or years. Don’t panic because it’s pretty normal. There are some things that both you and your partner will eventually lose interest in doing, but that doesn’t mean that your relationship is falling apart. It simply means you’re getting used to each other that you don’t actually worry about small details anymore. Here are our top humorous picks of those changes in the relationship.

 

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Month Anniversaries

  • 3 Months – You feel the need to celebrate every month that passes by because you think that you’re slowly getting the goal of staying together. You often thought about making it extra special since you’re in the middle of getting to know each other.
  • 3 Years – Well, those simple celebrations will somehow won’t matter. In 3 years of commitment, you probably have a lot of priorities to handle. Besides, you would instead consider spending on a one-time occasion compared to the monthly so-called relationship duties.

 

Sally Connolly, LCSW, LMFT said “Even one person who changes from talking and noting the negative to the positive can change the flavor of the relationship.”

 

Sharing Things

  • 3 Months – In the early stage of the relationship, you have your set of ownership in things. You think that what’s yours should belong to you and what’s his should belong only to himself. It is normal in a relationship because you still have that sense of “positive selfishness” in you.
  • 3 Years – At this point in time, there’s probably nothing that belongs to you alone and most of the things that you have, you probably have shared it with your partner already. The truth is, even your toothbrush has no excuse.

 

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Awkward Things

  • 3 Months – When it comes to those things that you didn’t expect to happen, but happened anyway, you’ll pretty much feel embarrassed that you might pray to the gods for the earth to slowly swallow you whole. There’s no way your partner is allowed to hear you fart. Or in worst cases, he’s forbidden to smell it.
  • 3 Years – The art of sharing that embarrassing moment is present in the relationship. You can burp, sneeze, and fart anytime you want. It won’t matter whether you’ll have that silly face in front of your significant other. Your partner will get used to it anyways. Besides, there’s no greater feeling than releasing those physical torments.

 

Ashley Thorn, LMFT said “Share how you’re feeling. Before assuming the worst, give your partner the opportunity to clarify any miscommunication or to explain their thoughts and feelings”

 

Cuddling

  • 3 Months – Yep, cuddling is a necessity especially at the start of the relationship. You want that moment to focus only on the two of you. You probably left those dishes in the sink only to be able to spend a lot of time hugging and kissing on the couch.
  • 3 years – Priorities matter and cuddling are occasional. There is more stuff to do than waste time sitting on the couch and stare at each other.

 

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Menstrual Periods

  • 3 Months – You might want to show your partner that having a menstrual period is something cute and natural. You try to avoid complaints as much as possible because you thought that it would kind of ruin the day for both you.
  • 3 Years – Everything about your period is toxic. The more your partner tends to act normal, the more significant chance of you getting upset. It will become all about you on those particular days of the month.

Being in a relationship is sometimes joyful and exhausting at the same time. But hey, when you are in love with your partner, you’ll do anything for them. Sides, those changes in the relationship can both make you understand each other and eventually lead you to a more extreme level of commitment.

 

The Relationship Lessons We Learn From Movies

 

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Watching a movie is enjoyable, especially when you can somehow relate to some of its stories. It will make you appreciate how moviemakers present an individual’s life with the use of acting and visual representation. Most of the movies give you an idea of the types of lessons you may learn from having a relationship.

 

A Woman Falls For An Emotionally Unstable Guy – This type of scenario existed in movies even decades ago such as “Pretty Pink (1986),” “Two Weeks Notice (2002),” and “He’s Not Just Into You (2009)”. It represents a man who is somehow unsure about his stand in a commitment and a woman who chose to take the risk. It creates an imbalance because most of the stories depict a man as incapable of handling a relationship and a woman somehow becomes stupid in giving their all to the unworthy guy.

 

Someone Takes It To The Extremes – When everything else in the relationship seems to be so wrong, there’s always a person that will take it to the extreme. From the movie “Jerry Maguire (1996),” “Wedding Crashers (2005),” and “The Family Man (2000),” the goal of the ultimate gesture is to take the person back into their lives no matter what it takes. It somehow represents a relationship that values effort and consistency.

 

The More You Hate, The More You Love Type Of Story – This scenario is frequent in movies such as “She’s All That (1999),” “The Ugly Truth (2009),” and “The Proposal (2009).” These types of movies represent a love story of two people who started to hate each other and ended up loving one another at the end. It somehow supports real stories due to the factors that affect the law of attraction. Both men and women’s conflicted nature gives them an ideal reason to get along.

 

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Cheating Is A Norm – Though a movie happens to show a real-life relationship encounter, cheating has become one of its primary standards. From the film “The Unfaithful Wife (1969),” “Closer (2004),” and “The Other Woman (2014),” these movies somehow teach a lesson that cheating can become one of the major problems of a relationship.

 

Relationships Can Start With A Lie – There’s more than meets the eye when we talk about the relationship and one of the fundamental starts can happen with a lie. Like in most movies, there’s always someone that pretends to be someone they are not in order to get a romantic success. In the end, both will eventually go through the process of reconciliation and move forward on the real journey of passionate commitment. Some examples of the movies are “Never Been Kissed (1999),” “Failure To Launch (2006),” and “You’ve Got Mail (1998).”

 

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A person’s impact on social interaction and relationship, in general, has something to do with the experience you can get from dealing with them. You may see it as something less worthy of your time, but eventually, it will lead you to a relationship that you least expect. The movies may sometimes become out of context, but you’ll positively learn lessons from them.

 

Here is a list of the things that therapists say about relationships:

  • “Dating someone new will make you way more excited about the newness rather than working through your problems (of course).” – Lisa Bahar, LMFT, LPCC
  • “Assumptions sabotage a relationship.” – Ashley Thorn, LMFT
  • “Anxiety in relationships is common. Especially if you are prone to worrying or are with a partner who doesn’t communicate clearly, anxiety will be a part of your relationship, and that doesn’t necessarily make it a bad thing.” –  Alicia H. Clark, PsyD

Wildlife Is The Greatest Gift Our Grandchildren Deserve

 

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There are parts of the earth that remain unexplored and uncharted, zones that remain untouched.  As of 2015, about 95% of the ocean as part of the body of water remained a mystery waiting for us to unravel.  Some animals were discovered not long ago to be at the edge of extinction.  They have lived long enough, but how unlucky is the next generation for they will not see them anymore.

Researchers keep on discovering new species, but then again, we are losing what we have faster.  Animals like Iberian lynx cat, Siamese crocodile, and Mexican wolf which survived long enough for modern era to encounter have come to the point that only hundreds of their kinds are left to be found.

 

The thirst of humankind to understand wildlife dared scientists to search for life unknown for us.  Every year there are new species discovered.  In the past decade, there were approximately 200,000 new species found and named.  Also, the extinction of species has been a worldwide problem each year.

 

The beauty of wildlife is an extraordinary wonder to me, how they strive and maintain to live on the earth, just like how humankind manages to survive.  It gives me much understanding that every living thing is working as one.

 

Visiting and going to zoos as my recreational activity has been part of my life for the past three years.  Being surrounded by wildlife allows me to have a sense of awareness.  With these animals around me, I sense that I’m not the advance or the dominant creature.  The animals in the zoo give me insights and knowledge that every species has its unique characteristics.

 

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Understanding Wildlife

Wildlife and animals face a lot of threats to survival and reproduction, the external forces caused by man and impact made by nature.  Mass extinctions by nature happen to bring a lot more damage to the ecosystem.  Mass extinctions occur because of the eruption of volcanoes leaving emitted gases which has led a lot of species to die.  There are also instances that climate change becomes a factor in extinction.  The sudden shift in temperature that caused the glaciers to harden also froze many marine creatures to death.

 

Source: networkforanimals.org

 

Adapting Is Crucial For Surviving

Wildlife has its way of thriving to survive. The way they adapt to nature is phenomenal.  Imagine living in a place new to you without even knowing what language they speak.  You begin to get lost in places because you don’t know how to read directions.  But instead of whining, you start to find things that will benefit you to adapt little by little to the environment.  It is also true for wildlife. No matter how small the steps they take to adapt, there is nothing to do but continue and evolve.

 

Having Faith In Ourselves

Evolution can be harsh when the most significant enemy is humanity.  But the faith within us will manage to keep things as it should be and will continue to prosper.  As long as humans live, wildlife lives, too, and that is because nothing is more magnificent than the evolution of wildlife, the great works of nature.  And it is a gift that our grand-grand children deserve.

 

 

How To Be A Good House Husband

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Nowadays it is quite common for a household to have a breadwinner wife and a husband who manages the house. There are some reasons why the wife is the one who works for the family and why the husband is the one staying at home. It could be that he is just moving from one work to another but in the meantime, he remains at home. Or it could be that the wife has a higher salary and that the husband can securely manage the house. Until just recently, it was not socially acceptable for a husband not to work for the family, but as I’ve said, times are changing, and with it, we need to change as well. This role change should not be an issue with proper counseling according to newdirectioncounseling.org/.

Continue reading “How To Be A Good House Husband”

SpaceX: The Future Of Space Travel

 

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The development and evolution of advanced rockets and spacecraft started from scratch, and Elon Musk is the brain that made it possible. The successful first launch of Falcon Heavy Rocket makes it the largest rocket operation as of today. SpaceX was founded in 2002 and successfully achieved the re-flight of an orbital class rocket in 2017. Its mission is to sustain a city in Mars that provides to commence humans to become a multi-planet species that can successfully land an orbit and revolutionize the space technology.  NASA awarded SpaceX due to its ground system progress from a challenging feat.

 

The SpaceX Project

SpaceX is a project with the mission to enable humanity to explore space at a more affordable cost and allowing us to live on other planets in space. SpaceX is a project of Elon Musk, the founder of PayPal, CEO of Tesla Motors, and Chairman of SolarCity whose mission is to advance space technology for the future of humanity.

SpaceX successfully garnered the attention of everyone around the world while making a milestone in history. It is currently the only private company to successfully launch a spacecraft from low-orbit from the earth and come back in 2010. Then in 2012, the company delivered a cargo roundabout to the International Space Station, which was a challenging task to achieve with project Dragon spacecraft. The Dragon spacecraft has been providing the resupplying cargo missions for NASA since then.

 

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History In The Making

The launching of Falcon Heavy was successful on February 6 this year by project SpaceX. The Falcon Heavy with 27 engines and three boosters is currently the most massive rocket within the project. It has a power equal to 18 Boeing 747 jetliners and is presently the most powerful rocket ever built in operation. The last comparable rocket to it was the Saturn V rocket of NASA for the Apollo moon landing in the 1970s. It is the first orbital class rocket to make a re-flight in history, creating a milestone towards the future of rapid rocket reusability. SpaceX has the potential to send bigger satellites, spacecraft and other cargos into orbit at a more affordable price. It will open a world of opportunities both for humanity and business which can lead to the rise of space travel and planetary colonization in the future.

 

The Mannequin In The Roadster

During the launch, there was a mannequin on top of the rocket inside a Tesla Roadster named Starman. All the while, the Roadsters sound system was playing David Bowie’s Starman song on auto-repeat during the whole event. It was an image that has induced the cheers of everyone around the world. With the potential of project SpaceX, it is possible to send humans to Mars and build a new system for Mars Travel namely ‘Big Fucking Rocket’ (BFR.)

 

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SpaceX and Elon Musk have brought humanity closer to space exploration. Humanity will inevitably see the day when space travel is as comfortable as traveling to a different country due to the success of Falcon Heavy. Hopefully, this project will reach its full potential in the future.

2019-2020 Meteor Showers To Watch Out For (Do They Affect Mental Health?)

 

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Are you one of the few astronomy enthusiasts who look forward to witnessing celestial events? If you are, then you must be filled with excitement and anticipation over having to see them at the right time and the right moment. They say that some celestial events can have something to do with the status of one’s mental health. Do they, really?

(You can ask some experts in BetterHelp about this. It can be true or not, at least, you will get to talk to a counselor and unload all those mental health issues plaguing you.)

Meteor showers are among the most sought-after sky events that most people want to know about. Unfortunately, only very few countries are lucky enough to see full meteor showers. The rest of the world will have to watch these spectacles on television. Let’s focus on meteor showers for this article – what they are, why they are, and when they do appear for this year and the year to come.

 

What’s A Meteor Shower?

It’s a magnificent celestial phenomenon where several meteors are seen to originate and glow from a point in the evening sky known as the Radiant. The meteors are a result of a stream of cosmic remains or meteoroids coming into the Earth’s atmosphere at intensely fast velocities. There are more than 900 possible meteor showers in the list from the Meteor Data Center, and 100 of these are well-established.

Below are some meteor showers that are most commonly seen that present with the most activity. They are usually seen just before dawn, after midnight. Some showers that show peak activity during the first and last quarter of the moon phase are hard to observe.

 

Meteor Showers For 2019-2020

 

Lyrids (Next activity: April 16-28, 2019)

These are medium-strength showers that under normal circumstances produce sufficient rates for a maximum of three nights. Although they don’t have a lot of trains, they can create fireballs. They are best observed from the northern hemisphere, as the Radiant is high at dawn. They can also be seen in the southern hemisphere areas at a lower scale.

Source: flickr.com

Eta Aquariids (Next activity: April 19-May 28, 2019)

Eta Aquariids, when observed from the southern tropics, are strong and steady. However, they only create minimum activity, about 10-30 per hour, when observed before dawn. Eta Aquariids persist for a week, and they are fast and persistent with minimal fireballs.

 

Alpha Capricornoids (Next activity: July 3-Aug 15, 2019)

Described as plateau-like with its maximum centered on July 20th, the Alpha Capricornoids are minimally strong and seldom produce more than five showers per hour. They do produce bright and beautiful fireballs when they are active and are seen on both sides of the equator.

 

Perseids (Next activity: July 17-Aug 26, 2019)

These showers are famous during the August evenings when they peak and are seen from the northern tropics. The Perseids are strongest on August 12 or 13, where they are seen showering at a range of 50 to 75 per hour. These showers originate from the comet 109P or the Swift Tuttle when its particles are released to the solar system. The term Perseids come from Perseus, the conspicuous constellation near its Radiant (origin).

Source: flickr.com

Leonids (Next activity: Nov 6-30, 2019)

They are popular for creating meteor storms in 1833, 1966, 1999, and 2001. The Leonids are best observed when the comet 55P or the Tempel-Tuttle is near Perihelion, the sun’s closest approach. These are remaining debris from the comet. But the news is that the earth will not be seeing any dense clouds until 2099, so when the comet comes back in 2031 and 2064, no Perseids will be seen except when its activity peaks at more than 100 per hour.

 

Ursids (Next activity: December 17-26, 2019)

These meteor showers are frequently ignored because they peak only before the Christmas Season and are much less than the rest of the showers at 5 to 10 per hour in the late mornings. They can reach up to 25 during their maximum activity and sometimes show outbursts. Ursids are exclusively observed as a northern hemisphere celestial event.

Source: pixabay.com

Quadrantids (Next activity: December 27, 2019-January 10, 2020)

Quadrantids can become the strongest showers of the year but they appear relatively shorter in duration, about six hours, and they are observed during the poorest weather condition in early January. They can reach up to 25 showers per hour but are usually seen as the skies are dark. They do occasionally produce fireballs but are not very visible from the southern hemisphere.

 

What other celestial events do you find interesting? Let us know!