We are living in an era where everything in a relationship is ‘almost’ becoming a norm. People tend to create a rationale for the things that they do. They often consider some practices as new learning and even try to validate an act by enumerating reasons why it should be done. According to Lisa Bahar, LMFT, LPCC, “Get clear on why you want a relationship, what type of relationship you want, and if this relationships meets those needs.”
One of the things that we tend to value as a usual practice in a relationship is having pre-marital sex. Honestly speaking, people who get to understand sex at an early age tend to become curious and eventually indulge in the act. But are you aware of the several reasons why you shouldn’t give your virginity until you get married? Here are the few things on our list.
Mental Clarity – People in a relationship that practice sexual intercourse tend to be more aggressive and bias in their judgments. Most individuals somehow lose their mental clarity in thinking that they should marry the person who they believe to be currently capable of loving them that’s why they tend to go all the way in giving their all. Though not all have negative results, mostly all of them end up not having a relationship at all. That’s where complications arise because people try to base their decisions on the kind of sexual connection they currently have.
Alicia H. Clark, PsyD suggests “Take a moment to acknowledge and name how you’re feeling.”
Mental Focus – When you happen to have sex over and over again with someone who you don’t have the security of a relationship with, it will affect your sense of focus. You will tend to make decisions you do not ordinarily do that somehow spills over some of the relevant aspects of your life. You’ll start to create sexual priority standards that will eventually cause pressure and stress in decision-making. In the worst cases, your overall mental health might get affected.
Mental Triggers – When we talk about sex in a relationship, you honestly have this ideology of “how to.” It is when you seem to focus on mastering the art of sex instead of doing it naturally. You might think that you can have a clean breakup once a relationship is over, but it will contradict the idea that you now created a standard of what sexual intercourse would be like with someone and that idea will stick with you. Therefore, the more multiple sexual experiences that you have, the less sex becomes valuable at some point.
Sexually Transmitted Diseases – You know that sex can cause STDs and the only way to avoid it is by not having sexual activity at all. Frankly speaking, having quite a lot of sex partners can put you at higher risk of having an infectious disease that can cause damage to your health or even severely cost you your life. In other words, abstinence can secure a healthy sexual connection if in case you consider preserving yourself before marriage.
Unwanted Pregnancy – You may like the idea of having kids unexpectedly, but the question is, are you capable enough of handling the situation even if your gut tells you that you are not yet ready? That’s where complications arise because most people who indulge themselves in sexual activities are afraid of unwanted pregnancy. It somehow leads to health destruction or abortion at some point.
According to Christina G. Hibbert, PsyD, “Stress tends to increase once the baby is born.”
So to be able to maintain that sense of precision in regards to your relationship, it is best to delay or avoid engaging in sexual activity and consider it only after marriage. It will help you to understand that every relationship needs a foundation and sex is just a factor.