Dr. Gary Brown, PHD, LMFT says “Think about the motion of crossing monkey bars. You’re swinging from bar to bar, still holding on to the last one, while reaching for the next.”
You probably have that experience in a relationship when you try so hard to fix the different things between you and your partner and yet you still end up calling it quits. Even if you exert an effort, it will be useless because it will always end up in pain and heartaches. A breakup can cause a lot of complications in both the mental and emotional aspect. So how can you be able to get over it? Here are some uncomplicated trivia that you might want to consider.
Stop Communication – Communication is a vital factor that sustains a relationship so deleting your ex’s contact information from your phone and avoiding access to his social media profiles is a good start of moving on. Be brave enough to unfriend, unfollow, and block him from every accessible Internet platform that connects the two of you. Determine a goal of achieving happiness and stay away from containing yourself with so much desire of having constant reminders of your ex.
Spend Time With Your Friends – A bad breakup is way too exhausting, but you shouldn’t consider it a reason to stop mingling with your friends. It may sound too good to be true, but your friends actually know what to do when you’re feeling low. Therefore, spending time with them can help you internalize and appreciate things that happened before and after the breakup. You shouldn’t waste time thinking about your sad situation and start hanging out with your friends so you can enjoy life all over again.
Look Back On Yourself – Think about the things that you did before you became dysfunctional after the breakup. You’ll eventually realize that your past relationship has nothing to do with your capabilities at all. In fact, you’ll be able to survive heartaches when you know that you’re the type of person that knows what you want in life. Focus on your hobbies, food, music, sports, and travel adventures. From there, start to remember who you were and get back to that positive and lively person you once were.
According to Chandrama Anderson, LMFT, “There’s nothing wrong with moving on if that’s truly what you want to do, but don’t jump to the conclusion that there’s no more hope for your relationship before you try to fix it.”
Try To Reflect – It’s okay to think about your ex once in a while, as long as it will not mean anything complicated like an emotional desire to get back with your ex. Instead, let it be merely a reflection that you may use as a guide or situational observation. Your realizations from the past experiences will help you in future decision making as well as guide you in handling a better and more mature future romantic relationships.
Look For A Meaningful Relationship – Meeting another person is not a bad thing. It will only make you aim for a meaningful commitment in the future because you already know what your limits and preferences are when it comes to a romantic relationship. Your heartaches should not be a reason to shut down other people because you might never know what could happen. However, you must allow yourself to heal completely first before trying to enter into a new relationship.
Though the stages of a breakup are somehow different from one person to another, these detailed tips can surely help you in attaining a brighter side of moving on. Don’t let a breakup take control of you and consume you. Always remember that there’s always that one person that is destined for you.
John Kim, LMFT said “Stay in the present and future. Remember, you’ve already put a lot of thought into this and decided to move on.”