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I recently learned that I could not stress myself with all the heartaches that come my way. If I do that, I am the one who loses so much. Why and how come? Well, it will affect me mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. If the causes of that heartache will derail my head, then, it will also disturb my physical health. I will be depressed and anxious, which I don’t want to happen. That’s why I choose which heartaches will linger for a little bit in my heart, and which I blow off to decrease my problems.
My Best Friend Betrayed Me, But I Blew It Off – With A Lesson Stuck In My Head
The person I thought who was my best friend wasn’t a friend of mine. She betrayed me by telling my ex-husband (technically he is still my husband because our divorce is not yet final, but the petition is on the works) that I was out with another man. This is true, and I admit it, but we were separated for almost a year. And I verbally told him that I don’t want to be his wife anymore, pending the divorce.
At first, she messaged him using a fake Facebook messenger account. My ex-husband’s Facebook account does not read messages from not his friends, and so, he wasn’t able to read it. She then sent it using her real Facebook account, and he was able to read it.
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That night, my ex-husband kept on calling me, while I was out on my date. He just told me in a text message, because I wasn’t answering his calls, that someone saw me going inside a hotel with another man. Of course, we were in a hotel, eating buffet dinner at its restaurant. And there was a show too. It was a nice date. But then again, the father of my children reminded me that we are still married. He doesn’t want the kids to know what I am up to, because I am “displaying” my man and they might be affected by this. He also reiterated that someone who knows me as his wife “saw” me, and it’s so embarrassing for all of us.
Like I care if someone saw me, but then again, he was right. I was still married, and it’s immoral for me to be involved with another man. What played in my mind was that person who told him. Later on, I found out that it was my best friend.
Blow It Off But Heed The Warning
As mentioned in the heading, I blew off. I never told her that I know she betrayed me. My ex-husband said that it was the first and last attempt of my best friend to “out” me, but he did say that I cannot trust her with my secrets and my life. Again, he is right. I may be divorcing this man, but he is right. This event was hurtful for me because my very own best friend “sold me to the wolves,” and I thought she had my back. I never asked her why she did it, and I guess I never well. This is how I learned that it is every woman for herself. Slowly, I distanced without her feeling the difference as much, and I moved on with my life.
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Did it stress me out? Was I anxious because of what she did – I mean, after learning that it was her all along? It did, for a short time. I didn’t let it worry me to the point of not sleeping at night.
You can do that too. Choose to be stress-free and worry-free. It’s not that you are evading issues in life, but for your sanity, pick the things that matter most to you because not everything has to affect you.
These are some of the stress-related statements of therapists and counselors:
- “Seeking help doesn’t mean you’re giving up—it means the opposite as you take positive steps to gain control of your situation.” – Aarti Gupta, PsyD
- “Remember that you can learn to control stress because stress comes from how you respond to stressful events.” – Amy Lukowski, PsyD
- “The first step in changing negative body image is to be aware of when, why, and how you’re speaking to yourself.” – Farrah Hauke, PsyD